Pets do the darndest things

They really do! Pets have a way of surprising us with their quirky, hilarious, and sometimes downright bizarre behaviour. Here are a few classic "darnedest" things pets are known to do.

1. The Zoomies (F.R.A.Ps)

Frenetic Random Activity Periods—a.k.a. “zoomies”—are when your dog suddenly bursts into wild, joyful sprints around the house or yard. No warning. No explanation. Just pure energy.

When it happens: After a bath, during playtime, or right before bedtime.

Why: It’s a joyful energy release. It’s also hilarious chaos.

2. Strategic Sleeping

Dogs seem to believe that comfort is less important than style when it comes to sleeping.

Upside down, legs splayed

Half-on, half-off the couch

Directly across your pillow

They’ll also adjust multiple times, spin around 6 times, and flop with a dramatic sigh.

3. Canine Commentary

Some dogs are very vocal. Not barking aggressively, just making noises as if talking back:

“Roo-roo-roo!” when you say "no"

Grumbling at your decisions

Sighing loudly when you stop playing fetch

It’s like living with a furry little comedian who has strong opinions.

4. Kleptomaniac Tendencies

Dogs love stealing objects—not always because they want them, but because they know you want them.

Shoes, socks, underwear: Classic favourites

TV remotes and phones: Only when you sit down

Toilet paper: It’s a toy and a snack!

They’ll often parade their prize around proudly or hide it in a secret lair (like under the couch).

5. Selective Hearing

When you call your dog inside, or say "bath," they suddenly become deaf. But open a cheese wrapper from three rooms away? They teleport.

Cats Do the Darnedest Things

1. The “Push Everything Off” Game

Cats love to knock things off tables with slow, deliberate confidence—especially while making eye contact with you.

Pens, glasses, phones, full mugs. Nothing is sacred.

It’s part science experiment, part statement of ownership.

2. Night-time Acrobatics

When the lights go out, cats enter ninja mode.

Sprinting up and down hallways

Vaulting off furniture

Attacking imaginary enemies

Bonus: You’ll usually be their favourite obstacle during this routine.

3. Obsession with Boxes (and Bags)

No matter how small or misshapen, if it’s a box, a cat will sit in it.

Amazon boxes, shoeboxes, pizza boxes—they’re all thrones.

Plastic bags? Even better. Crinkly, cosy, and slightly dangerous.

4. Deep, Unsettling Stares

Cats will sometimes fixate on… nothing. The corner of a room. A ceiling tile. Thin air.

Why it’s weird: You’re sure they see ghosts.

Why they do it: Probably subtle sounds or light changes—or just to freak you out.

5. Sitting on Literally Everything

Your cat doesn’t want attention until you’re doing something important.

Working on your laptop? Cat sits on keyboard.

Reading a book? Cat lies on pages.

Wrapping presents? Cat is now part of the gift.

Bonus: Other Pets Do the Darnedest Things, Too

Birds:

Mimic your phone ringing—or cursing when your grandma visits.

Dance to music better than most humans.

Try to talk over you during calls.

Rabbits:

Toss their toys across the room like tiny tantrums.

Zoom and binky (do acrobatic jumps) when happy.

Disapprove of you silently. Intensely.

Hamsters & Guinea Pigs:

Escape artists—will Houdini their way out of anything.

Make dramatic squeals when you open the fridge.

Roll around in their bedding like it's a five-star hotel.